Well....here I am again. After much spam from LittleWillow :: sigh ::. I don't know why I don't leave more entries. Livejournal is vastly superior to myspace, and yet I check myspace continually and livejournal...once every three-six months. Very poor.

So in Therapy Land...I'm growing more confident in my "snap out of it ::whack!::" skills. I must say that when I first began to have therapy sessions I felt I was going to soil myself every single day. I prayed for cancellations because that meant I would not have to perform. I won't say that I'm completely ready for any situation that comes, nor will I say that I am producing all positive results...but I am more comfortable in my skin and just may survive this crazy world of mental healthcare.

That said, I want to go home.

It's cold, it's snowy and I have season 1-4 of Alias that I want to watch and today seems like a prime time to do so.

I also have a HUGE hankering to see season two of Desperate Housewives with LittleWillow, but will she visit? Nay. Humph. Stupid saving for London and bad weather. :( I wouldn't be bitter about either if *I* were going to London. ;) Ah well; perhaps ONE day I'll be able to afford to go farther than Columbia. Most of the time not even that.

So movies movies movies. The oscars boasted many movies that I have not seen. Of the lot I'd seen The Devil Wears Prada and The Pursuit of Happyness. I thoroughly enjoyed both for entirely different reasons. I was very curious about Pan's Labyrinth by the end. Seems they won loads of oscars and I'm curious to see what the sam hill it's about.

Despite the rotten ratings, I want to see Eragon. The book was good....I'm seriously scared of the movie, but I still want to see it.

I watched :: gulp :: Stealth the other day. You know the one? With Jessica Biel? It was pretty bad, but I've seen worse. Jessica Biel has been surprising me. After seeing Seventh Heaven and mocking the daylights out if it and it's cheese log qualities, I expected no better from her. But after seeing her in Stealth and The Illusionist, she's got more to her than 7th Heaven tapped into. Which is a good thing on all fronts.

Ok, I've updated. See you all in 3-6 months.

It's cold, it's rainy. I'm tired, cranky, and feeling sleepy. I just wish I could go home and enjoy my crummy mood in the quiet of my warm home. Ever just want to wallow for no apparent reason?

I've been working too much and am beginning to feel burnt out. To get everything done that I must do for my current employment I end up working 10-12 hour days. Not good...not good. Especially since I'm quite certain that I need a second job to make ends meet...which sucks since I work so much as it is. Plus, it's tiring work. I am constantly on the go. Visiting with kids at school, in their homes, it's quite a processes. I do not get very many sick days (zero) and I accumulate vacation time (12 hours each month) but then I'm expected to bill the same as if I were present at work....which makes perfect sense (none).

On the positive side, my parents are visiting from out of town and that's nice. They've done a lot to make my house look nice. I owe 'em big. They give me life...and then they make my quality of life better.

Bad jokes...I love 'em.

I also like black coffee. ;)

Anyway.....so I'm obsessed with Veronica Mars. I notied that Sabrina Nymph is now in the mood to re-watch season one, so I'm sailing through it quickly so I can send back (with insurance) ASAP. I understand moods and their need to be satisfied. Love Veronica Mars. I would not react to her school the way she did. I would have worn boring clothes and never opened my mouth again. Faded away. I would *hope* that I would be courageous and act the way she did, but something tells me I'd mosey away and lick my wounds.

Parental unit have stated that they are for certain coming up this weekend....perhaps I won't have such an airy bathroom.

Speaking of a breeze, I've been airing out my house in an attempt to get rid of the sealer smell.

Anyway, back to work. ;)

This will have to do for an update. I don't have Internet at home and I don't know how long it will be before my caseload takes off at work, but I hope to update more often since I keep getting posts to update from two sources: Littlewillow and SabrinaNymph. ;) You two keep me accountable.

So.....life in general has been both shitty and happy. Crappy due to a head cold that just won't quit (littlewillow can testify) and happy because I've had some fantastic amusements while I've been sick. I've been thoroughly enjoying Veronica Mars season one. I love her, she's strong, capable, and kind. I felt so alarmed during the episode where she told her rape story. Horrors. So tragic. I'd just crawl in a hole and die. SabrinaNymph, do you have season two also? How I hope you do. ;)

The house is coming along....the bathrooms still need to be remodeled and finished and the kitchen needs some more work as does the spare bedroom, but it's slowly but surely taking shape. Parents are coming up this weekend to help me out so that's wonderful. They are the coolest people and have really helped me make my house a home.

Okay, that's the update. It's not as long as I'd like, but must work now.

Sabrina Nymph, I miss you! I can't wait to show you my house. Sorry, I know I said I had to go, but I had to add that.

Toodles!

My life since I last posted:

I arrived in MO and took up residence with the parental unit while I job hunted. I had a few interviews.....but nothing substantial UNTIL the end of April when I went to St. Joseph, MO and interviewed for an entry level position in social work that has good benefits, room to expand, and really lousy pay. I got the job, naturally, because I was waaay overqualified, but I don't care! I just wanted something that gave me experience and would help me get certified, and this job will do both of those things. So I'm now in that awkward in-between place where I'm neither here nor there and I feel out-of-sorts and annoyed at almost everything. Well, maybe not EVERYTHING, but I do feel off kilter. I start in two weeks and I don't have a place to live and no prospects. Talk about stress. Going into a new working environment is cause for alarm, but no place to call home? A double whammy.

There have been some good things along the journey: working at a dentist office with really good people and being able to save up some money and stay busy (otherwise, I would've pulled my hair out from boredom) all while job hunting. I enjoyed the people I worked with--they were tres amusing and full of wit and humor and made the months I've been there fly by. I also appreciated spending time with my family and getting to know them again. It seems like I've been away at school and other things and haven't had a lot of quality time with them in a while.

So that's the latest.....

...I do miss SabrinaNymph and LittleWillow. I see LittleWillow a while lot more, but hardly anything from Sabrina! :(

:: yawn :: Well, I think I'll trottle on over to my beddy by and read a bit more this morning.

So, I have successfully made the journey from WA to MO with little drama and many fun moments with my cousin and good friend.

Current life: Job hunting and job maintaining. I'm searching for social work employment and have already received two "F*** you" letters from places where I have applied. It's a good thing I have a good self-esteem. ;) As for the job maintaining, I'm working at a dental office. Now, I've always had a slight obsession with things in the toothy area, so the job is a nice way to pass the time while I try to find something in my chosen field. The frustration is starting to rise. I want to get a cute apartment and do new things and have exciting weekend plans and do cool things!

Well, after some job searching in the WA area, I have given up and am moving to new pastures where social workers are needed and when a job opens up, 50+ people do not apply for said position (that's how it is in WA, too many social workers!). So, on Tues. Oct 4 I'm heading to the Midwest and possibly the South to seek employment. I'm enthused about it, because I like the Midwest and South and am partial to the notion of being closer to my family and long-time friends.

I am sad to say goodbye. I've made some wonderful friends here, my supervisor for my former internship is a sweet lady and has been a surrogate aunt, the lady I live with who is like a cross between an aunt and a grandmother and my dear Sabrina Nymph who I have always loved but now adore. Sabrina and I have had some quality moments. Ice cream was eaten, fester was watched, life, love, and the craziness of the male species was discussed in detail.

I will also miss the weather in WA. I really liked the dry heat. I've never had such great hair in the summer before! Normally it would humid and plastered to my face in a stupid manner, so that was a definite plus. I will also miss the mountains and the beauty. Missouri and Tennessee are pretty, but they are not as majestic as some of the places in Washington. At least I got some good pictures!

Oy vey. I've graduated, went to Missouri for three weeks and enjoyed a grand visit with friends and family. I enjoyed the holiday more than I can say and now I'm back in Washington feeling a bit disoriented and confused. I don't know where I want to be. Washington is a nice state, my only problem is the friends I spent the most time with have moved to Utah and Idaho and I am still here with less buddies! I have three main people and two are over the age of fifty, so I'm in trouble. If I stay here, I fear I'll continue to have difficulty making friends and my lot in life will be to experience more than my fair share of lonely Saturday nights.

How depressing.

Debt. I am upset that I owe so much for the knowledge that is in my head. According to my loan exit interview, I will be paying on my loans for a whopping 20 years. 20 years! I would be debt free by the age of 44. The idea of being 44 is difficult to fathom, let alone paying on student loans for that length of time. I don't know what to do! I could go to Alaska and be debt free in two years through loan forgiveness. I think there might be some places that would do similar things in Arizona and Tennessee....so who knows where I will be in six months. Although, I sincerely hope it does not take six months for me to find a job. I'm going stir crazy as it is. After being in school, having an internship and a regular paying job, I kept myself very busy and now I have absolutely nothing to do. I'm thinking about getting a little piddly job at Starbucks or something just to have an income until I find something better. Plus, it would give me something to do. Oh how I wish the town I lived in had a nice public library.

Let's see, news news! I've finished my MSW, amazing and I can't believe it. I still feel like I'll have class Monday morning like usual. But no, I won't even have work. In fact, Sunday is the last of my Janitorial duties. Monday, I'll have nothing to do but pack and take care of a friend's animals while she's out-of-town. She has three dogs, a cat, and fish. All are an incredible amount of work, and while I've cared for them, I've wondered how I could ever have a child. For one thing, the animals require sacrifices continuously, and I imagine young children are equally a great deal of trouble, and probably more so. The cat I am fond of. It does it's own thing, not requiring a lot, plus it doesn't continuously lick me or sniff my crotch. I've always considered myself a dog person, but maybe I've jumped fence.

I'm going home Tuesday! Yay! I'm going to do some job searching while I'm home. I like Washington, I like the area, the weather, and the church, but I'm not sure it's where I am meant to be. I don't feel a particular pull anywhere, so who knows where I will end up. Confusion is high. I dislike the fact that I have but three good friends that are here permanently, and I think I would need more pals to sway me to stay.

But who knows.

I hate not knowing where I will be in six months. I'm feeling pulled towards so many directions. People in Washington want me to stay, Missouri, Tennessee, and Nebraska are also options. UGH! For someone who likes routine and rituals, the unknown is really confusing.

I keep trying to think "adventure" and "huh" a lot.

I had a fabulous time today at church with one Sabrina Nymph. There were some classic Buffy lines and nerdiness all around. She is a hoot and I've enjoyed getting to know her better while I've been getting my Masters at WWC.

Movie Review: Moonstruck. I saw Moonstruck Thursday night with my fellow MSW buddies, starring Cher and Nicholas Cage. The movie was pretty good, filled with hilarious Italian body language and loud exclamations. Nicholas Cage attempted an Italian/American accent which he didn't really pull off, but was amusing to watch all the same. I wouldn't recommend it, because it didn't really have a flow. But if you're in the mood to watch a silly movie with unique characters, this is the film for you.

My favorite line:

Cher: ::slap slap :: "SNAP out of it!"

Well, it's that time again. I had PMS for days and am now in full swing. OY! I've taken some medication, so that has helped, but I still feel crappy. Damn, why do women have to feel this way? I look at myself in the mirror and wonder why women, who have the soft curves, the gentle facial features, are the ones that are plagued with something as harsh as a menstrual cycle. Not that men deserve it or anything, but it is interesting how the biology of it all works.

I have been pondering femininity quite often. Gender roles, women's bodies and tendencies, it's fascinating. My main moment came today when I was putting on makeup, trying to look nice for the big presentation I had earlier. I curled my hair, shaded my eyelids, and glossed up the lips, and the finished product looked very nice, professional, and feminine. The shirt I was wearing was pastel and flattering, and I realized that I liked being female. I like taking care of myself and adding those accessories that best flatter the body God gave me. i appreciate the uniqueness of women. That was my little moment this week.

The presentation went okay. My part was good and well-done. Some other members of my group didn't do that great, but on the whole it was a fairly good presentation. I'd give us a 6.5-7 grade out of a possible 10. It could have been better, but I'm finished in a week, so who cares?